So a users PC is hanging randomly? A printer just chews paper for fun and you don't have a fucking scooby doo (you can use that) what's causing the problem?
Don't fret. Ignorance and fear are your friends so make shit up.
The PC problem is clearly either "fucked RAM", "a dry joint" or "a patching problem with this release of Windows ME".
The printer problem is to do with low (or high) quality paper and they need to change suppliers immediately. Tell them it's a known fault of that particular firmware.
They won't know what the fuck you're on about so everyone will continue to assume you're a FUCKING IT GURU.
jixi
More in this QipBox
QipBox HomeDo defrags regularly for fit birds
Have very cool MSN emoticons
Slag off Microsoft products
Make words up and get users to use them
Screensavers and desktop wallpaper are banned
Never admit to not knowing what the fault is
Go to Starbucks as often as possible
Internet access and custom firewall rules are for mates and birds
Say internet speak acronyms as words
How to fuck up fuckers that have fucked with you
Drive out of the carpark like a fucking lunatic
Wear the same shirt for 5 days
Smoke lots
You must have the best PC in the company
Looking absolutely fucked is a good thing
Try not to leave your chair
A messy server room is a "good thing"
Preferential treatment to fit birds
Acronyms are fucking cool. Fact.
Swear as much as possible
Chewed fingernails
Comedy tie
Wear your Blackberry AND mobile on your belt
Leave PC's lying around with the case off
Always use keyboard shortcuts
Qip Rating: -24 
