That cunt from finance who knows where to plug a USB cable is a fucking liability. He knows too much so there are two options open to you :

1) Get him onside by allowing a novelty screen saver, desktop wallpaper, MSN even YouTube - do what it takes.

Or

2) Make his fucking life a misery and get the cunt sacked. Ensure you can remotely access his PC without him knowing. Wait until near month end and disable Autosave in Excel. Then, when the time is right, end the task so he loses at least 2 hours of number crunching bullshit. Do this regularly. You'll never tire of it.

Other things to consider are putting trojans on his PC remotely and have his AV software go fucking bananas about. Come rushing into his dept like you're being chased by that fat ugly bitch from despatch and loudly declare "YOU'VE GOT A FUCKING VIRUS, A TROJAN AND AN AIMBOT! OH. MY. GOD. SHUT DOWN! SHUT DOWN! YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN!!". Make him look a right cunt but, this is important, save the day. Make sure everyone knows he's been using his USB key to put files on his PC (you know it's only Word docs that he's been working on diligently from home but fuck that, nail him).



jixi