Earlier this month, most of England was celebrating Guy Fawkes' Night, more commonly known as Bonfire Night.

Many of you Johnny Foreigner types are unawares as to what this festival is all about. Luckily, like a badass envoy from the Streets of Knowledge, I'm here to educate you.

Guy Fawkes was a man constructed out of pure evil. Created on a construction gantry on a hidden island in the Pacific Ocean, he flew to London when he was completed, in 1974, using the rocket boosters in his feet.

At this point, it became apparant that he was only four inches tall. This meant he was classified as having to pay "tiny tax", which enraged him greatly. So, he decided to destroy the Houses of Parliament.

Living soley on a diet of petrol and Rich Tea Biscuits, he was able to increase his height to over 100 metres. As a side effect, he also gained the ability to fire cutting beams from his eyes.

On November 5th 2004, Guy Fawkes stormed the Houses of Parliament. The Law Lords were called upon to quell the situation. Using a combination of beards and cannon fire, they were able to disable him. Then one of the Law Lords, RoboLord leapt onto Guy Fawke's back and tore out his evil computerised brain.

DiscoJustice