Now us fellow professionals know that you're knackered and a bit smelly 'cos you were playing Counter Strike or WOW until 4am but users don't need to know that.
Make sure everyone assumes that you were on call and had some "major shit" to sort out.
You must have at least 3 or 4 standard excuses in your armoury. Some examples are :
"I was here 'till fucking 5am upgrading firmware on the Ciscos 'cos of critical update that I received to my Blackberry"
"I had to work 'till 2am on our DRP"
"I was woken at 3.46am by my Blackberry - we'd had a firewall breach. I had to scan open UDP ports and deploy a packet sniffer to trace spoofed packets. I nailed the cunt".
Remember, they don't know shit.
jixi
More in this QipBox
QipBox HomeDo defrags regularly for fit birds
Have very cool MSN emoticons
Slag off Microsoft products
Make words up and get users to use them
Screensavers and desktop wallpaper are banned
Never admit to not knowing what the fault is
Go to Starbucks as often as possible
Internet access and custom firewall rules are for mates and birds
Say internet speak acronyms as words
How to fuck up fuckers that have fucked with you
Drive out of the carpark like a fucking lunatic
Wear the same shirt for 5 days
Smoke lots
You must have the best PC in the company
Looking absolutely fucked is a good thing
Try not to leave your chair
A messy server room is a "good thing"
Preferential treatment to fit birds
Acronyms are fucking cool. Fact.
Swear as much as possible
Chewed fingernails
Comedy tie
Wear your Blackberry AND mobile on your belt
Leave PC's lying around with the case off
Always use keyboard shortcuts
Qip Rating: 44 
